Neeraj:

Hi Stephen,

That was a great talk!

I agree with you but with a slight modification:

I have found repeatedly in my life that I am the only one that believes in me. I always have plenty of people that want to tell me why I’m crazy and what I am doing won’t work. This kind of feedback always comes from people who don’t have any idea of what I am doing.

On the other hand, I have gone out of my way to get feedback from people who are successful doing what I am trying to do. I have found these people to be very sympathetic and helpful. I gain valuable insights from these people.

However, at the end of the day I have found that I need to figure things out for myself. Despite people’s attempts to guide me, I have to conquer my own deficits. I have to find my own way.

I always appreciate people like you who are trying to help but you can’t do the work for me. A combination of self discovery plus feedback from those who have already accomplished what I want to accomplish works really well for me.

Thanks again for a great talk. That was a good way for me to start my day.

Neeraj.

[Reply]

phillip skinner:

Hey Stephen one n all … “A better Life” as we all know we should embrace it? … life is what you make it. Successful people share many. characteristics. They are constantly learning how to do. their jobs better and take responsibility so to enjoy life no matter what circumstances they find themselves in. They accept the small things in life and give gratitude for them. They treat every day as a gift and not take it for granted. So they do all they can do for that day. They live in the present and not worry about the future. Learning to be flexible when change comes takes precedence over trying to change the situation to adapt to you when it seems impossible to change it. Successful people take responsibility for their own actions. They don’t blame anyone else. They look at change as an opportunity for something greater and try to use it as a stepping-stone to go to the next lever Successful people take action and are confident about their decisions even if they don’t know what the outcome will be. They are decisive and willing to take risks.

Regards
phillip Skinner

[Reply]

Vince:

Hi Stephen
Another excellent contribution for which I am very grateful.
I like the idea of going ballistic and I like the idea of going guided but I like the idea of going both guided and ballistic best. Just like the v2 guided ballistic rocket.

This way the results will not only be on target but will have the most effect.
Feedback as we have discussed before is essential if we want to get the most from our efforts in the shortest possible time.
I always think of the throwing of darts at a dart board when explaining how feedback works. The first dart might hit the board to the left of the target so then you will accept the evidence that tells you to go to the right a little. When you throw the second dart you may find it hits the board either to the right of the target or not to the right but just to the left. This evidence is then fed back to you so the third dart is then thrown even closer to the target by accepting the feedback and adjusting your throw accordingly. Interestingly, if you throw your first dart and miss the target that in it’s self does not mean that you are incapable of hitting the target ever. Also if you throw a thousand darts it does not mean you will hit the target, however, if you throw a thousand darts and apply to each throw the feedback from each previous throw then you are much more likely to hit the target and hit it more often.

In conclusion, Feedback rules OK. Also if we all apply the feedback that these posts are receiving and combine it with our previous knowledge together with your excellent advice we will all be the better for it. Dtalpha talkback ROCKS.

Best wishes

Vince
Twitter: vince_mullo

[Reply]

Ian Carter:

What you say in this piece is absolutely right, and I am in total agreement with PV Reymond, too.

Flexibility is the name of the game, as well as focus and direction.

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Faye:

You know I do get offended sometimes when people tell me the truth about what it is that I am doing that really doesn’t work or needs improvement but I find that there are people out there who get offended because I am different and I have a business that I operate at home. For example, I was talking to some ladies last night about what I do and how they can do it also but there was an individual there who has a very poor, ghetto mentally and she feels that if she doesn’t know how to do something different then no one else should. She couldn’t receive anything from me because she is still living in the past, staying stuck in her past struggles and hardships and is jealous of those who look forward in getting ahead and doing something different other than working a 9 to 5 job and staying broke.

I have to be who am even though people may not understand it. I learned that it’s OK to be different and to be able to get out of the box of low self esteem and poverty. It’s OK to be rich; it’s OK to seek advice from those who know more. It’s OK to be me.

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Jeff Davis:

Hi Stephen,

You make a very good point, and it’s what I really
suck at…I think I have a mental block when it comes to actually taking feedback for what it’s worth…

I really strive to keep negative people away from me, so I can concentrate on my momentum. And inadvertently I have isolated myself…

I am studying your audio blog here, I love your rants, and I get a lot of listening to you, so keep up the great stuff, I even backtracked and found Armin’s video, which was revolutionary for my business, and now I save tons of time I use to waste trying to brainstorm domain ideas…

Best Wishes,
Jeff Davis CEO | Copywriter
http://marketing-fusion-secret.com
Twitter: blujam

[Reply]

Steve Pohlit:

Being Guided

Great topic Stephen and Step 1 is very critical. Step 1 is “Clarify Intent and Purpose” Many of us seem to feel we know our intent regarding a specific task or project but when we sit back and look at all of our activities and pause often time we discover that these actions are not really satisfying us.

Defining your purpose can be challenging for many – it has been for myself. In fact I am consistently monitoring my feedback system regarding the direction I am moving. I believe the best feedback system is your feelings.

Let me clarify this. Stephen is absolutely correct in outlining the steps to staying on course for say performance in a job or on a project or in your business. I have consistently advised companies as part of my 10 Minute MBA training program (http://www.10MinuteMBA.net) to have a trusted advisory board. Public companies are required to have a board of directors. Many private companies, in fact most, do not have an advisory board. At the job or project level, feedback systems can be created with people outside the immediate project group or chain of command. Within that professional environment monitoring your feelings about progress is also very important. Your guidance system within is a powerful benchmark. This guidance system is best used for your life’s purpose first.

There is a process to follow in order to reach a higher level of guidance linked to your life’s purpose. It has been my experience that even with the answers within immediate reach, many people are not interested in doing the work required to get to the answer. I start professional and life lesson projects with the same question: what is the goal? For me the goal is being at peace with the direction I am moving.

I remind you the reader of the same lesson I offer people in The Prosperity Now Program (http://prosperitynow.prosperityroadmap.com) If you have a desire for to jump out of airplanes for your leisure activities you can be at peace doing that if that is part of who you are. I for one do not seek such thrills at this point. Peace comes for me with being on purpose. The entire Prosperity Now program is designed to help us be on purpose with our lives. When we on purpose my experience has been that daily work, relationships, health and manifesting dreams and desires fall into place.

Thank you Stephen for another outstanding topic

Steve Pohlit
http://www.stevepohlit.com
http://www.prosperityroadmap.com/blog

[Reply]

Gordon Walker:

G’day Stephen – Thanks for another great talk!

So many times our own limitations block us from taking on the
feedback that could actually move us forward. I too have been
Ballistic, which can be exciting, but lacks direction and focus
and many times ends up with negligible results. On the other hand
getting “appropriate” guidance can really keep us on track.
Appropriate guidance to me is that I still need to setup the checks
and balances (Feedback, Be clear and specific, Have a measuring
system, etc) as in the past I have been given guidance by well
intentioned people, however it ended up costing me dearly.

Thanks again for another great talk – Have a Terrific Day!

[Reply]

Bridget:

thankyou stephen for your wonderful positive talk. i am always happy to listen to your positive talks and i find them inspirational and very helpful. god bless you x

[Reply]

Saira Samee:

Stephen,Very well articulated points firstly on being guided as having a lighthouse for the ultimate direction to go in.Great work
On course you may go a little ballistic but be aware firstly on having a finely tuned instrument called faith …Faith in yourself, your creator and your purpose. This will be the barometer against which you will measure your every action and effort.
Action that brings you closer to your wholeness that is your strengths and talents based on long term consequences which are good will always beget good and wrong leading to downfall.As long as you spend time aligning your actions by spending time on your talents will strengthen you vs. any seemingly good but inherently weak actions that ultimately do not serve your higher purpose at all will weaken you like taking short cuts, bickering, back biting etc.
Success is a combination of FAIth in a higher order- one God and you being his best creation to produce best results AND taking actions that bring you closer to your inner strength based on long term consequences. This puts you on an auto pilot to receive the best feedback en route possible.

[Reply]

Dolores Swoboda:

And AMEN to All Of It !

Dear Stephen

I never thought about the feed back,,,I have accomplished what I enjoy and know best, but I forgot to ask for FEED-BACK to progress. I know that this should of been done along time ago, and I would be further than I am. I wish I could of heard of your speaking abilities earlier in life, I can only emagine what I would be doing know. Thank you. Your new friend if it’s ok, Dolores Swob

[Reply]

Gail:

Thanks for clarifying all of those points about getting feedback. I love listening to your enthusiasm no matter the topic!

Warmly,

Gail

[Reply]

Jimmi:

Hi Stephen,

While listning to this talkback I was connecting it with Dr. Maxwell Maltz’s book Psycho Cybernetics.
As pointed out in this book, I also believe that we have such a mechanism installed in our make up. I will just make a brief quote that refers to what it is…

“Cybernetick is the science of control and communication in the animal and some machines. It is based on the fact that both biological organisms and some machines have sensors that measure deviation from a set goal. These sensors signal feedback into a coording mechanism (your nervous system) which corrects the output or behaviour of those same organisms or machines.”

Now it seems to me, that this mechanism can either be a huge benefit- or a huge detrimate to us.
If we are aware that we have this build-in mechanism, that can be operated by us, we can use that to acchieve whatever goals we set. I do believe that your seven points is a great guide to how we can work with this mechanism: We set a goal and we notise and request for honest feedback and make the proper corrections along the way. – If we have a set goal but decide to ignore the feedback, then we are not using this system and cannot possibly benefit from it.

I think it is an interesting thought, that a missile that is guided by a cybernetic mechanism is only ON course a few procent of the time it travles to the chosen destination – and still it hits right smack down on it’s target with amazing precition. In relation to that, we can expect to be off course most of the time – so it is simply continuously correcting our course all of the way to our goal. I guess You can say, that we fail our way to success. So failure is not a bad thing, stopping our progress is a bad thing.

Like I said, this mechanism can also be a detrimate to us. Because if we are not setting new goals, this mechanism will target it’s previous goals and reattain them for us. In other words; nothing really changes.
And if we focus on everything that can go wrong or what we fear might happen; then that becomes the target and we start shooting off to obtain that.
So “going ballistic” to me really means NOT choosing a better destination to shoot for. We may want to accomplish “something”, but if we are not clearly putting that in the target zone, then IT becomes the deviation towards another set goal (what we are used to).

So the question really is; Is the goal we set for ourself mearly a deviation or an actual set goal? I believe that clarity and focus determines that, whenever a new destination is set. After the goal has been set, the job is to maintain focus and correct, correct, correct all the way there.

Another thing is the feedback, which often is the opintions and perspectives of other people.
I remember myself as being someone who had a hard time dealing with any kind of critisism and in addition, I was very quick to point out my disagreements with others. – Many people have these I-am-right-and-You-are-wrong struggles every single day. As a matter of fact, there are wars being faught, NOT because of disagreement, but because of a lack in accepting the opinions and perspectives of others – (the lack of tollerance and understanding).
Well I started discovering some things about perspectives that very much changed my behavioral patterns and beleifs around this issue. I would put it this way:

There is the world, and the world just IS. And there are not 2 sets of eyes that views the world the excact same way.
So I kind of gained this understanding, that whatever I see the world to be is true. Meaning that it is true to me. And when someone sees something else, they are also right – what they see is true to them.
So if two people look at the same thing and disagrees with eachother, they do not need to make eachother wrong. They are both seeing, feeling and experiencing what is true to them – so the paradox is; they are both right and they are both wrong.
The person who is able to accept another perspective and take that into consideration, as to weather or not it will progress him- or herself in the right direction, is a wise person. In stead of rejecting every single perspective that is not in harmony with our own, we can accept, analyse and consider these perspectives and possibly add them to our base of knowledge.

I think we tend to look at opposing perspectives as something that is bad. But it is not nessesarily bad, it is however different and that can also be a good thing. But if we put up this barracade to protect ourselves and our own perspectives, then we will keep EVERYTHING out. ALL of the perspectives that are bad will be kept out, but all of the perspectives that are good AND probably the perspectives we NEED in order to obtain a desired goal will also be kept out.
There is value, real value in the opinions of others and the unique way that they see the world.

So what I am saying is, that I personally learned to accept, tollerate and appreciate people who disagrees with me. I even find it natural, that a lot of people WILL disagree with a lot of the things that I say in my every day life. But this is not a bad thing, it just is.
So I have become very hard to offend, though I can be offended. But I am hard to offend because I am not constantly trying to protect myself and the things that I believe. So whenever I am opposed with another opinion, I have the freedom to evaluate that and either accept it as something that can help me or reject it as something that will take me in another direction. And what I have found is, that there is really not anything to protect yourself against. You do not need to shut yourself in, You actually do have a filter to sort through the various perspectives and opinions. But You will never realise that unless You remove the mental wall that only seems to protect the narrowminded Ego that hides within us all.

I used to hate facing the fact that I was sometimes wrong. I simply could not stand being corrected or critisised and I felt downright misserable is I actually came to the conclusion that THEY were indeed right and that I was wrong.
I feel very different about that today. Now I almost LOVE being wrong – because every time I am wrong I learn something new.
I think this is what You refere to as “the beginners frame of mind” as opposed to “the knowing frame of mind”. – A beginner is ready to admit that s/he does not know everything and shows willingness to learn. Someone who “knows” refuses the fact that s/he does not know everything and they will always protect that illusion by rejecting any information that does not fit the reflexion of their own self image.

I think I have written quite a bit by now. But I just love these subjects and tend to get a little carried away, so I will just pull myself out of it.

Kind Regards

Jimmi

[Reply]

Paul Easton:

As always great help………..

i always ask the question….is this feedback or opinion?….do they have the facts……always important to note the difference………..

Best Regards
Paul Easton

A Plan for F.ree Web Traffic
Get it Here:

http://www.SEOTrainingLive.com/

[Reply]

Vince:

Hi Stephen and all and a special note for Jimmi

Stephen I miss your feedback on the posts.

Everyone who posts may not review the older posts from previous days or even after you have given your reply you may not return to see what others have said. Today I looked back at FEB 29th’s comments and found a post addressed to me post #36. I would have missed this if I had not reviewed the post so I would encourage you all to look back and see what you may have missed since you posted on those previous dates.

Jimmi:
Thank you for your reply to my post. You are appreciated and I do enjoy reading your posts. You have a gift and you use it and that has to be good for both you and all who consider it. All your comments add to the overall picture each one of us creates as we ponder over the subjects discussed. You water freely and therefore you will be freely watered.

Best wishes

Vince
Twitter: vince_mullo

[Reply]

Raymond Chua:

Hi Stephen,

Thanks for the 7 tips. I can’t believe that I’m a ballistic person all these while. It’s time for change.
Twitter: raymond8

[Reply]

Lovely Obanor E:

A million Thanks
Twitter: obanorsite

[Reply]

Elon Bomani:

Excellent advice.

I do seek imput on my business via a small group of individuals that I know have my best
interest at heart.

But I pride myself of using my female intuition to guide me in letting me know if something
is good or not. I am completely dependent on that because it tends to delete the filter,EGO.!

It has worked well for me and my female intuition tends to be my best guidance.

Thanks for all your work. It’s much appreciated….you always keep me on my toes!!!!!

Massive success to ya,

Elon
http://www.thedynamicdiva.com
http://www.internet-marketingdiva.com
http://www.goodcreditconsultants.com
Twitter: elonbomani

[Reply]

Richard Link:

Hi Stephen,
Just Great. If only we all follwed your steps. It certainly would eliminate worry.
Richard Link.
Eliminate Depression in your life. http://www.mindeze.com

[Reply]

Michael:

Well I will tell you that the only person I know that could ever give constructive feedback on any situation or subject for any person is me. Like above the people I am around most of the time, if not all the time, are negative to the extreme, or close to it, always trying to prove you wrong jumping to their first thought, without thinking at all. I have learned not to ask for feedback ever. Most people in this society are moved by their own motives, desires, likes and dislikes and would not help you succeed in any way even if they actually had an idea that could prove beneficial to you. It sure would be nice to know a person like that.
Good talk Stephen.

[Reply]