Nickolove Lovemore:

Hi Stephen,

It’s ironic that I had a session with one of my clients today where the same issue of failing came up. My client wanted, understandably, to prevent those she held dear from making the same mistakes she had made.

We both agreed that sometimes people need to make their own mistakes and actually experience a particular situation for themselves in order to learn from it. You cannot experience something for another person.

Also, a situation may seem identical to something you’ve experienced in the past but the fact is that the underlying parameters may be very different. Hence, what might have be the right decision for you, may be the wrong decision for someone else. This is why in coaching we work towards empowering an individual to make the best decisions for themselves.

Making mistakes comes from the courage to make decisions. Those who are the most successful in life are often the ones who have also made the most mistakes and, of course, those who have made the most decisions.

Nickolove
Skyline Coaching Blog
Twitter: Nickolove

[Reply]

Roosevelt Cooper:

Hi Stephen,

There’s something that you said on this podcast today that I totally agree with and want to point out in case anyone missed it.

“I don’t really believe there is one specific way to succeed. Everybody has their way that has worked for them. What you want to discover is what’s going to be YOUR way.”

I think too many people get caught up in this mindset that if I just copy exactly what Stephen did or what anyone who has been successful has done then I’m going to be successful as well and that’s completely not true.

Is there value in finding out what other people have done? Absolutely. However, your path to success might actually consist of a little bit of what one person has done, a little bit of what another person has done and maybe even something that nobody else other than yourself has done.

Roosevelt Cooper
http://www.web204mlm.com

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Sharon:

I’m only going to say this on the suit right now. Publicity is publicity, perhaps Mr. Robbins and his crew is in need of some.

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Jorge:

Yes, having that mindset is the impetus and key to attainment. The thing that can make that “hard to believe” is when you are in debt up to your ears, no money coming in, you’ve have supposed strategies to get you there but nobody really giving you step by step instructions.

So what is the trick, as TIM asked? I’ll tell you Tim, but you need to pay me the million dollars first. It is simple though.

Keep up the good works, words, and inspiration Stephen. You lost me on the #40, 409, 410, and all that jazz. That one just didn’t make any sense whatsoever. I’m just talking back to you, baby.

Peace and Love

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Linus Rylander:

So by saying that we constantly need to improve ourselves, that would imply that there’s something wrong about us in the first place

Heh, great post Stephen

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Vince:

Hi Stephen
I believe it’s all in the mind! Say what! Look at it this way: If you have a Mind to do something, you will do it. If you mind how you do it, you will do it well. With the correct info and desire with a mind that will not give up until the objective is realized nothing can prevent it’s achievement.

What tends to happen, though, is we get distractions that take our minds off the target and therefore hampers our efforts. It is only a very strongly disciplined mind that can resist the temptation to deviate from our goals. The idea of mind sets (in the plural) tends to indicate that each and every task has it’s own mind set therefore if we select the appropriate mind set for the goal in Mind then we hit the target.

While we can learn from mistakes both ours and others it is best to find someone who has already hit the target we are aiming for and find out what their mind set was to accomplish the task and to copy what they thought and acted upon with regard to hitting the target and make our mind up to do it persistently.

The good old and faithful principle is always at work sow and reap cause and effect act and get a reaction. Paradoxically the simple question of what do we really want? is by far the hardest to answer for so many people. If the mind set was put on sale in a shop it would only work for the person who designed it which brings me back to the only mind that can make it work is the individual who’s mind set it is. As is often the case I may now be out of mine.

Best wishes

Vince
Twitter: vince_mullo

[Reply]

Man With All The Answers:

Hi,

You will be shocked to know that I achieved a high level in sport in both high school and University…and its amazing how those achievements and mentality applies to online.

Yes! its true…without that success and experience I dont think I would be making money online. Business comes down to a few important things…stephen touches on the most important no matter what you thought they were.

I know that there are alot of talks about the secrets, but It has changed my life…and that whole saying of “thoughts become things” is totally true.

You are the only one who is able to change your destiny.

And it is totally up to you to get off your but and do something, the thing is that only 2% of people actually do anything at all.

enjoy your day

John

http://www.moneytreeprofit.com

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Vanya Markiewicz:

Hi Stephen,

I really needed to hear this today and listened to it several times. I really thank you for your clearity and sincerity in providing this information. Thank you so much for putting the effort into helping us all. It is and will always be appreciated.
Many thanks.

Cheers,
Vanya

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AnnMarie Cunniff:

Stephen,
I experienced an example of the learning culture today. I set up an email today that I was sure of and it was a total bust, but I’m glad I actually looked back and found it, I could have kept going for weeks that way. So I did learn to be vigilant enough about checking my results. I am a firm believer that mistakes lead to learning. I know I will find my way around this issue.
Thanks for you talk today, it reminded me that failure is not an option. Mistakes may happen but not failure.
Thank you for what you do,’
AnnMarie

[Reply]

Denis:

Hi Stevephen,

I really love your talk back shows, and getting them is always a pleasure.
Yes, I also verified that being flexible on formulas is essential. In your growth process, you must adapt to your own goals, dreams and life purpose. Nobody will tell you exactly what you have to do! And learning to JUGGLE with all areas of your life so as to achieve a fulfilled and balanced life requires training and TRUST and flexibility. Never try to be perfect the first time, or you will never do anything! Until the next time!
Denis / FRANCE

[Reply]

iearnmoneywhileisleep:

Great talkback Stephen

Winning is 90% losing, is so true… From my experience its taken me 18 months online trying and failing in most areas, to finally find what suits me and what I can have success with.

Keep it coming…

Ian McConnell
http://Ian-McConnell.com/
Twitter: ian_mcconnell

[Reply]

Francis Peoples:

Hi Stephen,

If we are not winning we are learning.

Having patience really helps in moving from the training mindset to the trusting mindset.

Everybody who wants success wants it right away without the effort – to find a silver bullet that will propel them without having to pay the price. Going throught the learning culture is part of the success process.

However most people over estimate what they can achieve in the short term and completely under estimate what they can achieve in the long term. The thing is most are not around in the long term.

Just keep doing the little things consistently everyday and over a long period the more you have little wins the more confidence you receive and so success increases.

Keep doing the little things extraordinarily well everyday. Even put your heart and soul into your domestic chores to build focus in your business, personal and social life.

I mean commit yourself to listening to DTALPHA as a starting point. Build that success muscle every time you receive the email and post a comment. Your focus will change through the self discipline.

I don’t think there is a successful person out there who is not organised and self disciplined in their unique approach to success.

Great stuff,

Cheers

Francis Peoples

[Reply]

bridge:

Hi Stephen.
Very good wisdom and very inspirational.
Thanks
bridge

http://www.bridgeshairdesigns.com

[Reply]

Nilla Spark:

Hi Stephen,

I feel that the most pertinent point that you have made is to TRUST yourself, believe in what you are doing and then just do it!!! When you have total faith and passion amazing things happen, just have the mindset that you will succeed and you will. My new venture with http://www.yourspiritualjourneys.com was an idea that I wanted people to experience what I had and with the guidance and help of Alicia it has become a reality, and my expertise on the internet was learnt in the past 12 months since attending UYMG in Singapore. You don’t have to know everything you just have to have the passion and desire to make it happen. I love Mike Litman’s saying “you don’t have to get it right you just have to get it going”.

Love you Stephen & Alicia, and keep inspiring, as you daily are making a difference.

Nilla Spark
http://www.yourspiritualjourneys.com

[Reply]

Paola:

I named my notes from this alpha talk as:
“I live moving forward”.

So the way your message came to me is: that proposed a way of living based on learning and use it trustfully.

I liked the: “winning is 99% loosing” that you mentioned. And I will take all the trust no matter if I apparently “loose”, because finally it means winning the tools (hidden in the lessons and hurts) to get where I want to get.

And my final reflection is that TRUSTING MAKES ME FEEL THAT RISKS ARE SMALLER. I feel that your alpha talk really inspired me. This line that comes from my mind after listening to your words in this alpha talk, is really exciting me.

Stephen what do you think about this way of looking at risks? please let me know. GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU GOOD AND COOL AND WISE.

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Kai:

Thank you for the awesome talk. I’m happy where I’m in 2008. I’m learning a lot and have the self-confidence to implement (do) what I learn. There are more to learn and do; at this point, I’m focusing on succeeding on small habits on a daily basis.

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Jimmi:

Hi Stephen,

I can relate very well to what you say in this talkback.
But first of all I have to say that I am very pleased about how the year has turned out for me so far. I did not start of strong and then kind of wore down; I started off kind of nice and easy and then pushed on more and more as time went by. – I am a lot better off now than I were 5 months ago. – Sure I could have been better off by now; however I have indeed progressed in several areas of my life and I am pleased with the fact that I can see further down the road from where I am now.

But anyway I would like to say that I have been a great learner; I have really nailed that part of the process. However I have not been very good at implementing the things that I have learned and to trust either my ability to do them, or to put trust in them actually working. – And it has been like that for quite some time.
However I did become aware of this and I did realise the importance of implementation and I still see it as an area where I can improve greatly – but I have improved though.
Now you are absolutely right when you say that a person can get stressed out from all of the things that they learn and never implement. – It is very easy to think; “I should have been THERE and not HERE by now, because I have learn so on and so forth”. – I have absolutely been feeling that way also; as a matter of fact I grew so sick and tired of feeling that way that I did eventually start acting and implementing new things in my life.

For me I guess that it was- and is a question of finding the balance. I used to act pretty boldly on many ideas; but I did not take the time to learn during that process and to learn from my mistakes. – I realised that and realised that I needed to learn something, so I kind of went over to the other extreme where I started learning intensely without really implementing anything. – So one thing got me going in the wrong direction and the other thing kind of left me stuck and frustrated.

I guess that when you are learning, you are still flawless. You can sit down and learn some great things and never suffer the consequence of doing them wrong. But on the other hand never enjoying the fruit of eventually doing them right. – When it is left inside the head it remains flawless and perhaps we are affraid of shattering that image or illusion of perfection. – Because when you take that perfect image into the world, it absolutely will become flawed… It will either prove to actually be a bad thing, or it will be a diamond in the rough that needs to be cleaned up along the way.

Personally I kind of had to accept that my “perfect image” would get flawed in the real world; and then I had to decide to let it get flawed and work it back to perfection again realising that it would never get quite that perfect… But at least it would become an imperfect something instead of perfect nothing.

Well currently I am on an exciting venture and I am experiencing extremely good results doing some things that I actually love doing and have a talent of doing. However I am making some GRAND mistakes also that kind of drags the “extremely good results” down to being “around avarage results”. But the thing is that I am learning a great deal from these mistakes – things that I were unable to learn without actual action. And I realise that in time I will improve my performance and decrease the impact of the mistakes that I make and actually succeed in doing what I chose to do.
I have been very pleased by the way that I deal with my mistakes by the way; I am very happy about these mistakes and I really put great effort into figuring out what I need to learn from them. I realise that these “minor” mistakes/failures/defeats are not occuring to make me quit… They are occuring to help me progress in a slightly different direction.
When I have this venture nailed down and things progress somewhat effortlessly (and they will shortly), then I know it will be a result of making a great number of great mistakes and adjusting my course accordingly…
And the thing is that, I find it a lot easier to deal with these mistakes that I make along the way, rather than dealing with the stress and frustration that I feel from doing nothing…
It is kind of like standing on the high board wanting to jump into the water; If you give in to the fear and climb back down then you regret it for a long time after. But if you actually jump then you feel pretty good about overcoming that fear and realise that it was not that scary after all – it was probably even fun… And after a while you are doing backflips, twists and cannonballs without giving it a second thought.

I would say that my point is; that our own unique image of perfection can be very difficult to let go off; and holding on to it does not seem to serve us. I think that we all have a spark of perfectionism in us and even though striving for perfection is a valid goal; it is just absolutely self-defeating to insist on perfection from the get go.
A person should work his/her way up to perfection and still recognise the fact that this goal cannot ever be reached. You are travelling down an endless path and the true destination is actually the journey. – The only true way to actually fail is by deciding not to go at all.

Kind Regards

Jimmi

[Reply]

Airplane Pilot Careers:

This is a lesson that I learned the hard way. I remember when I wanted to put up my first squeeze page. I was going to ass video to it so I went searching on the net for other marketers’ video squeeze pages.

When I didn’t find one that looked like the one I wanted to make I got discouraged and thought that mine was wrong and was not the way to go. It took me a long time to put that first page up.

I’ve come to realize that there are many paths you can follow and what works for you might not work for me. The key is not to try to follow Stephen’s (or anyone’s) exact steps but to get a feel of what they’re trying to accomplish.

At the end on the day you have to make decisions based on your business and your situation and not blindly follow someone else.

[Reply]

Asutosh:

Thank u for this speech, I will continue to work hard and improve myself
what so ever may happen .
Thank you so much

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